* BiRthDaY bLuEs *

21.

Full of guilt trips and woes

But...

Did i let that bring me down

Hell no!!!!

I am telling you people...

NOBODY IS GOING TO BRING ME DOWN

Not even you BITCH.

Guilt trips and people who got all butt hurt cause i didnt want to come cuddle aside

I had a blast!!!

After work Chris Kyle and I went shopping.

Kyle is so amazing!

He got me 2 Juicy Couture necklaces.... thats right

2 !
This One

And This One




The Star in my life and the key to his heart 

How corny lol
I love it

I also got a Juicy couture necklace from my brother chris, 

and a victoria secret gift card from daddy,

 I got my birthday outfit.

For dinner we went to 

Cause god fucking damnit
i wanted my Blondie!!!!

  I had my first legal drink.... Of coarse it had patron here

And Just hung out at applebees with my peeps

    After my delicious blondie,we went to the canyon inn

It was fun got way trashed and danced the night away....

I had my first margarita. 

A.M.F.

Some candy tasting thing, 

Alot of stuff lol 

And i did not sing to the porcelain gods

I had a good birthday...

Oh what happens when you stop giving a shit

* HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mE *

Right

Isn't that how its so supposed to be...

But what is so Happy about it

Ever since I can remember i haven't had a " Happy Birthday"

15. 

I was slapped

16.

I was beat

17. 

I had a gun to my head

18.

I had to beg my boyfriend at the time to even come, 

he showed up drunk, 

My best friend at the time

Left to go with her boyfriend.

19.

All I wanted was my alcholic boyfriend 

( Yes the same one from the year ahead)

To be sober for my birthday... 

And he was.

Technically

He drank his eyes out till 11:59 pm  

11/20/09

Stayed up till10 a.m

Passed out 

Didn't wake up till 11 p.m

And was sober the one hour that was left of it.

He didn't even spend it with me.

20. 

I found out that the guy that I was dating at the time

It was his and his wifes anniversary 

(They were separated)

Nice way to feel special.

21.

Its not even 10 a.m.

I'm sitting at work

Fighting back my tears.

Calculating numbers in my head.

Stressing,

Not looking forward for the rest of the day.

Why cant one year be different,

Why for one year can I actually have a 

Happy Birthday

Its like I was destined for failure

Nothing I do is great.

Nothing I do is ever good enough.

Its the shortest day of the year.

The "end of the world " happens on my birthday

And my i.d even expires 12/21/2012

The lunar eclipse that happened yesterday,

No one could see cause of the storm clouds

I was serious

When I said thats what I wanted for my birthday 

I want to be alone.

No one to bother me

No one to tell me about their horrible relationship problems,

No one to use me.

Just being with the one person that has always been their for me

ME.

I don't want to go snowboarding,

I don't want to go to Park City,

To eat,

To party,

To the movies.

ALL I FUCKING WANT IS TO BE ALONE

Okay 

So DON'T wish me a happy birthday

Cause their is Nothing happy about it.

Just pretend its just another day of the year.

But the only thing that's different is

Im in not in it.

 

.: LaSt Day BeForE tHe aGoNy :.

What a day!

What did i do the last day of being 20

Went and watched this movie right here

And let me tell you right now

It was FUCKING

So Kyle, Erin and I went to 

And started our adventure!!!

First we came across a big head that looked kinda scary,

Turns out it was just the

Head from the new

Pirates of the Caribbean!

Which I'm Super Stoked For!!!

May 20 Peeps.

Then Waiting for the show....
Kyle

The amazing guy that he is.....

Got me the most delicious beaner nachos ever from the

They were so yummy

I even ate the red, green, and black chips

( I know they are dye but still its not normal.)

They had the coolest soda dispensers ever

They had over 128 flavors

all in one thing.

It was so awesome

Cherry coke was totally scrumptious.

The Movie was Amazing

Next we went to my second home,

Got hair dye to do my do .

Maddys gift,

And a whole lot of nothing,

Went back home and got a early Birthday present from Erin.

It was a picture poem thing

It was way cute.

How centimental.

Kyle got me a amazing card from,

HE HE i love those little dudes.

Had a great night out....

Now time to strap my straps for tomorrow.

T.T.F.N

* WeDdInG bElLs ArE rInGiNg *

FINALLY A DAY OFF!!!!

Had to be a Sunday,

But thats Okay.

Today is Suzie's and Lalo's Wedding

I slept in till ten o clock!!!

What a record ....

SO who else was awake this morning 

Of coarse....

Peas

So we sat, talked and had beaner hot chocolate...

Yes you read right

BEANER HOT CHOCOLATE!!

Then of coarse,

My children had to be with me,

By my side.

Dont they look so adorable...

Then it was time to get ready for the wedding..

The dress that i wanted to wear turned into a tent...

Then one that actually could fit,

Looked to tacky.

So just to make sure i didnt have to resort in pants that are size 11 

I thought i would see if my size 5 pants could make it up 

&

Over my ass.

And to my realization....

They did
I was able to button a button.

I could have probably squeeze the second button on 

But that would require to many

Jumping

& 

Pulling 

& 

Sucking In.

Plus no muffin top for me please.

So we go to the academy.

And as soon as i walk in all you hear is....

OH MY GOD ITS ADRIANNA.

Like if i was a ghost

Or the devil.

Then you start hearing the whispers.

So Erin and I,

Went to the Bridals lounge and saw Suzy,

She looked so beatutiful...

It was de ja vu though.

It was like looking in the mirror.

Quincenera all over again!!!

Except without a veil and a husbamd.

Her dress was so pretty... and she did not look prego

At all...

Lucky

So after a little pep talk about the

Old Ball and Chain.

Made sure we had a proper escape route 

And any secret go code

In case she wasnt ready and wanted to run

Just Kidding Lalo.

So Erin and I find a place to Sit.

Way

Way

Way 

In the back.

 And wait for the ceremony to happen

Which was beautiful by the way.

( Even though it was in Spanish.)

Had some delicious food.

Left just in time for no one to stop and chat.

 

Came back home and spent my night with Kyle and Jenny!

Met Jenny's Hawaii guy,

Was craving tacos...

So Kyle took me to Taco Bell 

Chalupas and Mexican Pizza

NO other better way to break my diet...

But Who the Fuck Cares...

Im almost a size 5

Bitches!

* HaPpY hOlIdaAyS *

F.M.L

Is all I have to FUCKING say

I HATE THE FUCKING HOLIDAYS....

Can someone please tell me what is so great about them ....

People change who they really are,

Obligate you for presents,

Actually start doing "charity" work,

Celebrate the birth of  "Jesus",

Christmas music,

                         My Birthday,

                                             Parents constantly bribing and lying to their children,

Give people the excuse to sit on their ass and gain twenty pounds,

AND don't even get me started on santa, oh Im sorry Mr. Fucking Claus. 

LET ME GIVE YOU A FUCKING REALITY CHECK.....

Don't smile at me and act like we are best friends just because its December,
Your still nothing to me.
Totally Invisible

Don't buy me a gift expecting one back or to hold it against me in the future , 

Do it just because, 

No Obligations

Homeless people are still homeless no matter what time of year it is... 

One month out of the year shouldn't be the only time they should eat well.

Their is no proof out their that your 

" Emmanual " 

Was born on Christmas Day.

(And honestly how can someone 

Get knocked up

 without 

getting something inserted in their va jay jay )

P.S. If you have a decent "excuse" please feel free to express your opinion 

Christmas music is great and beautiful the WEEK of Christmas

Not Halloween to New Years Eve.

How many Versions of Jingle bells can people come up with.

If i wrote a parody called JINGLE BALLS can i come out with a christmas album. 

To make five dollars and prove to people that i have a voice.

I am grateful and happy that my mom squeezed me out on this " BEAUTIFUL " month.

But don't come around on the one day that it SHOULD be all about me,

To put me down, 

To make you feel Better about your pathetic life.

You try to teach your children about honesty, 

Always be truthful, 

But sit their and say 

"You better behave or Santa will give a piece of coal for Christmas, "

But you expect your children to NOT believe in fantasies..

Don't Build up people's hope just to rain on their parade.

Oh and not to mention the obligation thing again.

PRAISE YOUR KID
 FOR WAKING UP IN THE MORNING.
Because some parents aren't so grateful.

I understand that you get lazy, 

Its cold outside, 

Turkey Dinner is Fucking amazing, 

HOLIDAY COOKIES, 

But the only Exercise you shouldn't be getting that month
 Is CHRISTMAS SHOPPING....

INSTEAD OF HOVERING THE POTLUCK TABLE
 AT YOUR CHRISTMAS PARTY 

BE ON THE DANCE FLOOR 

SHAKING YOUR ASS OFF

LOSING CALORIES INSTEAD OF GAINING.

Then you use New years as a 

Pathetic 

&

Under achievable goal 

(That you make every year)

That your going to lose twenty pounds...

Why not strive for something that you can achieve.

Like stop talking shit behind people's back and try it to their faces....

They may say your a bitch but at least your honest.

Why is it okay for a Strange White Fat Man

To dress up in a red suit

And let YOUR children sit on their lap.

But help me god, 

If a stranger says Hi to your kid or even looks at them,

You accuse them of being a pedophile.

GET YOURSELF OUT OF THIS RIDICULOUS SOCIAL STANDARD 

AND 

LOOK OUTSIDE THE BOX...

WHAT REAL MAN WANTS TO DEAL WITH KIDS ALL DAY

FOR A SEASONAL MINIMUM WAGE JOB.

 WAKE UP PEOPLE

THE WORLD ISN'T AS PLEASURABLE AS IT SEEMS.

Anyways let me tell you about my amazing day....

I woke up 5 min before I had to leave for work.

So No makeup,

No coffee,

No breakfast,

No pants that fit,

One sock,

Hello Mother Nature,

Hello empty gas tank,

But...

No Red Lights,

Only 2 minutes late,

Money in sales,

Day went by fast,

Have Sunday off,

Lost Three pounds,

Spent the night dancing.

Work was amazing, 

Kicked ass in sales,

 &

Got my hours back 

Cause Mandy was tired of having to call me in to work

 When I would have been working already.

Came home had left over what a mocolic.

Watched an  amazing movie,

Drank coffee,

Got all ready and pretty,

Went clubbing at Area 51

With Jenny for some dudes birthday...

Just what i needed....

A DAY WITH MY PEAS...

Kyle would have came
 But he was so sick from subway....

FEEL BETTER CORNY BEANS.