* BiRthDaY bLuEs *

21.

Full of guilt trips and woes

But...

Did i let that bring me down

Hell no!!!!

I am telling you people...

NOBODY IS GOING TO BRING ME DOWN

Not even you BITCH.

Guilt trips and people who got all butt hurt cause i didnt want to come cuddle aside

I had a blast!!!

After work Chris Kyle and I went shopping.

Kyle is so amazing!

He got me 2 Juicy Couture necklaces.... thats right

2 !
This One

And This One




The Star in my life and the key to his heart 

How corny lol
I love it

I also got a Juicy couture necklace from my brother chris, 

and a victoria secret gift card from daddy,

 I got my birthday outfit.

For dinner we went to 

Cause god fucking damnit
i wanted my Blondie!!!!

  I had my first legal drink.... Of coarse it had patron here

And Just hung out at applebees with my peeps

    After my delicious blondie,we went to the canyon inn

It was fun got way trashed and danced the night away....

I had my first margarita. 

A.M.F.

Some candy tasting thing, 

Alot of stuff lol 

And i did not sing to the porcelain gods

I had a good birthday...

Oh what happens when you stop giving a shit

* HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mE *

Right

Isn't that how its so supposed to be...

But what is so Happy about it

Ever since I can remember i haven't had a " Happy Birthday"

15. 

I was slapped

16.

I was beat

17. 

I had a gun to my head

18.

I had to beg my boyfriend at the time to even come, 

he showed up drunk, 

My best friend at the time

Left to go with her boyfriend.

19.

All I wanted was my alcholic boyfriend 

( Yes the same one from the year ahead)

To be sober for my birthday... 

And he was.

Technically

He drank his eyes out till 11:59 pm  

11/20/09

Stayed up till10 a.m

Passed out 

Didn't wake up till 11 p.m

And was sober the one hour that was left of it.

He didn't even spend it with me.

20. 

I found out that the guy that I was dating at the time

It was his and his wifes anniversary 

(They were separated)

Nice way to feel special.

21.

Its not even 10 a.m.

I'm sitting at work

Fighting back my tears.

Calculating numbers in my head.

Stressing,

Not looking forward for the rest of the day.

Why cant one year be different,

Why for one year can I actually have a 

Happy Birthday

Its like I was destined for failure

Nothing I do is great.

Nothing I do is ever good enough.

Its the shortest day of the year.

The "end of the world " happens on my birthday

And my i.d even expires 12/21/2012

The lunar eclipse that happened yesterday,

No one could see cause of the storm clouds

I was serious

When I said thats what I wanted for my birthday 

I want to be alone.

No one to bother me

No one to tell me about their horrible relationship problems,

No one to use me.

Just being with the one person that has always been their for me

ME.

I don't want to go snowboarding,

I don't want to go to Park City,

To eat,

To party,

To the movies.

ALL I FUCKING WANT IS TO BE ALONE

Okay 

So DON'T wish me a happy birthday

Cause their is Nothing happy about it.

Just pretend its just another day of the year.

But the only thing that's different is

Im in not in it.

 

.: LaSt Day BeForE tHe aGoNy :.

What a day!

What did i do the last day of being 20

Went and watched this movie right here

And let me tell you right now

It was FUCKING

So Kyle, Erin and I went to 

And started our adventure!!!

First we came across a big head that looked kinda scary,

Turns out it was just the

Head from the new

Pirates of the Caribbean!

Which I'm Super Stoked For!!!

May 20 Peeps.

Then Waiting for the show....
Kyle

The amazing guy that he is.....

Got me the most delicious beaner nachos ever from the

They were so yummy

I even ate the red, green, and black chips

( I know they are dye but still its not normal.)

They had the coolest soda dispensers ever

They had over 128 flavors

all in one thing.

It was so awesome

Cherry coke was totally scrumptious.

The Movie was Amazing

Next we went to my second home,

Got hair dye to do my do .

Maddys gift,

And a whole lot of nothing,

Went back home and got a early Birthday present from Erin.

It was a picture poem thing

It was way cute.

How centimental.

Kyle got me a amazing card from,

HE HE i love those little dudes.

Had a great night out....

Now time to strap my straps for tomorrow.

T.T.F.N