Right
Isn't that how its so supposed to be...
But what is so Happy about it
Ever since I can remember i haven't had a " Happy Birthday"
15.
I was slapped
16.
I was beat
17.
I had a gun to my head
18.
I had to beg my boyfriend at the time to even come,
he showed up drunk,
My best friend at the time
Left to go with her boyfriend.
19.
All I wanted was my alcholic boyfriend
( Yes the same one from the year ahead)
To be sober for my birthday...
And he was.
Technically
He drank his eyes out till 11:59 pm
11/20/09
Stayed up till10 a.m
Passed out
Didn't wake up till 11 p.m
And was sober the one hour that was left of it.
He didn't even spend it with me.
20.
I found out that the guy that I was dating at the time
It was his and his wifes anniversary
(They were separated)
Nice way to feel special.
21.
Its not even 10 a.m.
I'm sitting at work
Fighting back my tears.
Calculating numbers in my head.
Stressing,
Not looking forward for the rest of the day.
Why cant one year be different,
Why for one year can I actually have a
Happy Birthday
Its like I was destined for failure
Nothing I do is great.
Nothing I do is ever good enough.
Its the shortest day of the year.
The "end of the world " happens on my birthday
And my i.d even expires 12/21/2012
The lunar eclipse that happened yesterday,
No one could see cause of the storm clouds
I was serious
When I said thats what I wanted for my birthday
I want to be alone.
No one to bother me
No one to tell me about their horrible relationship problems,
No one to use me.
Just being with the one person that has always been their for me
ME.
I don't want to go snowboarding,
I don't want to go to Park City,
To eat,
To party,
To the movies.
ALL I FUCKING WANT IS TO BE ALONE
Okay
So DON'T wish me a happy birthday
Cause their is Nothing happy about it.
Just pretend its just another day of the year.
But the only thing that's different is
Im in not in it.
